Sunday, April 5, 2009

Sound advice...

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24191/dating-101-seven-things-no-one-tells-you-about-marriage

This is a really good article with practical advice about marriage and relationships. I think this is one of the most important points...relationships are tested more on a daily basis than in a crisis. It is very easy when you are in a long-term relationship to get bored, and start to have doubts, or even feel unhappy. This is especially true when you're just going day-to-day in your normal activities. One of my professors used this example...when you first get a new car, you are so excited. You get it washed once a week, won't let anyone eat in it, and park in the back of a parking lot just to keep it safe. The longer you have it the more you start to let these things go. Soon enough you're collecting trash in the back seat, waiting for the next rain shower to wash the bird poop off, and saying, oh well when get a little scrape. It is the exact same way in a relationship. At first you are so excited and giddy. You want to see the other person all the time, you try and look your best, and think about ways to make them happy. As the new-ness wears off you start to feel bored, and look for ways to cure this boredom. This is usually when people start looking for someone else, and start the cycle all over again. It's easy to like a new person, because they are NEW! Anything is exciting when it's new. The hardest part of a relationship is keeping the momentum and dealing with the lulls. They are inevitable. Anyone who says they don't experience them are either lying, or just deal with it very well. No one said relationships were easy. If they were, no one would ever break up. They take work just like anything else. If you don't want to put forth the effort, you're never going to be happy. Trust me, it's worth it to find something that's real. When you do, hold on like hell, because it may never come around again. (Which is a topic for another blog.) So, have realistic expectations about the ups and downs of relationships, and be ready to work...you'll be glad you did in the end!

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